I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
