I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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