Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
