I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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