Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
