What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
