Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
