covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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