It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
