so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
