they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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