Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I looked at my own cervix.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
