Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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