SEEEEXXX PLEASE
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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