is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
