Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
