9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
