nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
