well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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