were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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