he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
they need to just BURY HIM!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
