and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
