where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
