I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
