i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
