I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
