if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
