it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
