Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
