When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
