I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
