Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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