is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
