Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
