ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
