question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
