would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
