I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
