I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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