do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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