There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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