Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i think im in europe. pls send help
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
