First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
