sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
