You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
