I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
