well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
