does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
