I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
