well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
